i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
