i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
