I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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