If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
