i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
