So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
