2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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