Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
