Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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