I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
