I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
