Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
