This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
