There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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