she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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