I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
