There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
