You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
