well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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