U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
