Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
