we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Randomize
