never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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