This is not my ceiling
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
