I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
