I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
send nudes
from the living room?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
