I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
