Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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