come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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