I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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