Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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