Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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