So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
