he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
