My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
