well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
