I love black thongs
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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