this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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