Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
