And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hippo gnu deer
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
