Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
