Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
