Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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