Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
