I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
