bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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