Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
