I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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