You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
