you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
